Everything was so easy

In the beginning at least.

It was books, Barbie’s, balloons

Always a hand to hold

Always a shoulder to cry on

I was never afraid

And I didn’t need to be

I always had my hero

The one snoring away in the room next door

 

And life went on

 

We got older

Things changed as they always do

My Aunt got a divorce

I was Innocent and curious

Always asking questions

Looking for answers

He read my princesses books to me at night

Very patiently

Page by page

And when it finished

He would kiss me on the head

Say goodnight

And then close the door

Leaving a slight crack

So the room didn’t go completely dark

Then id race to fall asleep

Because soon I would hear his snore

In the room next to mine

So loud that It would keep me up

And leave me awake for hours

To wonder

And cower from the monsters that were made curtsey of my own imagination

 

But life went on

 

And we got older

Things changed as they always do

I wasn’t afraid of monsters anymore

They weren’t real

The big wedding picture came down

And he moved out

Into a small apartment

I couldn’t hear him snore at night anymore

His girlfriend?

My aunt

 

Life went on

Slowly

 

Things changed as they always do

I can remember seeing my mom cry the day she told me she thought about taking her life

It BROKE me

What 10 year old child has the strength to hear that?

To recover from something like that?

The first time I saw him cry I actually smiled inside

Does that make me a monster?

 

All my life growing up I thought monsters were the guys under your bed

The shadows that you could never touch

They were there

But they couldn’t really hurt you

I didn’t know about the real monsters

The ones that crushed your heart with a single look

The ones that lied to you and broke your trust

The ones snoring obnoxiously lound in the room next door

Unaware of all the damage he had caused

 

And life went on