this letter is me saying goodbye.

this letter is everything i couldn't say

when you were in my room that night

when i asked you to stop

to leave me alone

and you persisted

in touching me

feeling me

knowing me

when all i wanted

was to be a mystery.

this letter is me saying goodbye.

this letter is everything i was thinking about

that night on my roof

when you asked me if i was okay

i wasn't

but of course, i said

i'm okay 

i'm okay

i'm okay

i wasn't okay

but you know that, don't you?

this letter is me saying goodbye.

this letter is the hunger in my stomach

just before the binge

and the painful fullness i feel

just before the emptying

i am stuck in this

a circle of pain and peace

looping each other in my head

as i sit on the floor

and cry.

this letter is me saying goodbye.

this letter is wondering

wether or not you thought about me

as the pills and the whisky

shot down your hroat

or if i was another afterthought

something you only remembered

after it was too late

to come back

from the edge.

this letter is me saying goodbye.

this letter is a promise

that i will see you again

today or

tomorrow

i don't know

but on another plane

in another life

i will see you again.

i love you.