I miss it all very much. 

I miss how everything felt

How everything smelled

How nothing made me smile like the thought of you

.

I was so inspired by you, you were new, shiny. I got up every morning just so I could spend at least a little bit of time with you. I knew exactly when I would see you on exactly which days. I would take different routes to class so that maybe I would see you on the way.

I don’t think I’ve hugged anyone more than I’ve hugged you. I came to know and love your body that it made me very sad when you said you hated yourself. I wanted to do everything, be everything for you. You completely turned my life around. I had someone to look forward to every day, and you taught me how to think for myself, to learn to love myself.

Before you, I did as I was told and I didn’t question anything. You were my teacher and maybe I taught you a little bit, too, but it got to the point where you didn’t want to learn from me anymore, and it go to the point where you had nothing left to teach me because I didn’t want to learn about the things you were getting into and they were things you didn’t feel comfortable teaching anyways.

. 

The lessons ended

It was time to go our separate ways

And that’s what we did

.

School’s out, we’ve graduated, there’s no place for you in my life and there’s no place for me in yours. Thank you for everything, you are one of the biggest stepping stones in my life and I’m very grateful for you.

.

I wouldn’t have changed a thing.

(listen to By the Time by Mika while reading)