Knocking at my brain trying to figured out why things haven’t changed? Why I haven’t I found peace within his hands? Why I m I trying to make it work if neither one of us is hurt. every time I look at me I feel a piece rolling off, then laying down beside u make me wonder how much will this cost….for me to love you without lust, for me to only just give you a hug, just for me to unwind in you…I have sex but I don’t really want too. I hate you taking a piece of me everyday then showing my face to my master in shame. I feel like a prisoner without any rights, I feel like my whole love for you is a lie, jus because I cant tell you what’s on my mind. The fear of you denying how I feel, the fear of you leaving me in chills…the fear of being afraid it self…makes me give it to you and forget about self wealth. Years of trying to buy love and freedom and still I m giving it up when the customer who didn’t even need it. I’m so confused in our relationship between love in lust…I pray to the devil but im looking above. Because I thank him for a man that I have sex with…I already know God didn’t give me that. Maybe he did….I just didn’t obey…maybe he did and I went astray. Maybe he wanted me to help him change his ways…..it don’t matter now because he already know what’s between my legs. Knocking at my brain trying to get in I find myself losing a friend. I find myself not hearing your voice, I finding myself not making the right choice…Knocking ,knocking, knocking that’s all I heard, is it me giving in or…..is it you saying ….let me in????