On Learning Melancholy

Happiness is like the wind—

Cool and comforting and yet so fleeting

So when that familiar feeling was dimmed

I found my heart somberly beating.

 

I remember my days of youth

When a speck of sadness

Was treated like a forbidden truth

And I found myself weary and hapless.

 

How was I supposed to deal

With such an unfathomable, drowning feeling?

It felt wrong and vile and unreal

And I found myself lost and reeling.

 

I realized my days of innocence were gone

When one morning the news had come

That my grandmother had passed on

And I found my heart had become a broken drum.

 

How was I supposed to live and be happy

Knowing that she would no longer be there?

That ignominious, dreadful fear came back to me—

That terror of sorrow and its uncertain air.

 

Back then I didn't know

That I shouldn't be afraid of melancholy

Or be frightened to let my tears show

For without it, my life would only be the fear of folly.

 

In time I came across the epiphany

That this was my time of maturity

And that life was not just bliss or misery

But an experience of love, death, and oddity.

 

Now I know

That while heartbreak and hopelessness tear my heart asunder

It is the nature of life to cry in order to grow

For as time ticks on, the sun will still rise, and the sky will still thunder.

 

How I differ from child to now

Can be seen in how I think of the world—

Before, I saw gloom and ran, like an unspoken vow

And now, I find my heart accepting of anguish, open and unfurled.

 

If you ever feel down or distressed

Know this: unclenching grief will not haunt you for eternity;

For it is a fact of life, so do not let your pain be repressed

In time, it will pass, and your life will return to harmony.

This poem is about: 
Me
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