last october
last october
english class
our gaze meets
you smile and turn away
this moment, haunting my thoughts for days on end
I twist everything I've heard you say
making myself believe you like me
I doubt you know my name
what I look like
that you have a class with me
yet every morning I do my makeup with you in mind
not accepting the fact I won't receive a milisecond of your attention
yesterday
I see you lock hands with her
you smile at each other
she's happy
you're happy
I am not
today
I get ready and suppress longing thoughts
a tear falls onto the countertop
I pretend not to see you in class
hoping you'll maybe see me
I am three things
weak
for ever letting you alter who I wanted to be
falling behind
on all the english work you've made me lose track of
and happy
happy for you
happy for her