Just an animal

Fri, 03/14/2014 - 16:44 -- katy21

I lay with his tie flapping in my face. 

I close my eyes to take the pain away. 

He tells me it'll only happen this once,

but I know now that is a lie.

As that is what he said last time. 

I used to beg him to stop,

but now I just lay back, and go to my place in my mind.

He is above me, his face turning red with pleasure,

while my tiny one turns pale with pain. 

 

I think of today at recess, 

when I got in trouble for showing my affection the way he taught me.

I just want the other children to like me.

But as I try to rub them the way he has taught me, 

they scream, and I am in trouble. 

I do not know why it feels so harsh when he touches me. 

He said he is teaching me to be a woman. 

He holds my wrists tight,

and he doesn't look in my face.

When he is done, 

he looks in my eyes and cries. 

 

I hold him,

telling him it's okay I love him.

I will protect him.

 

10 years later, I lie on my bed.

He tells me it'll only happen one more time.

He tells me it's my fault,

I have always seduced him.

I was an evil child.

 

His tie flaps in my face.

I close my eyes,

and think back to yesterday.

When I got so drunk at a party I passed out. 

They took pictures of me naked.

Sent them around my school.

Raped me,

over, and over. 

 

Now I carry the shame. 

Of secrets to heavy to keep. 

They say I deserve it for getting drunk at a party. 

What they don't realize is I drink to hide my secret. 

The one I keep burried deep. 

To protect the ones who told me I shouldn't speak. 

I guess I was born to take the abuse. 

To keep quiet so others,

won't take the heat. 

I am just an animal,

who deserves it, after all. 

 

 

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