July 9th, 2016
I'm choking,
Sputtering,
I can't fucking breathe.
My throat is gone,
My lungs deflated,
Is there anything left of me?
Lies.
You all tried.
I know you did.
You tried to cover up
Your truer intentions
So you wouldn't seem
As bad as you
Really are.
Did you think that
I, of all people,
Wouldn't fucking notice?
The deceit,
The ploys,
The fake apologies?
Or how about
The whispers,
The jokes,
The ugly commentary?
Do you feel uncomfortable?
Do you feel your heart
Pounding in your throat?
Do you feel the absolutely shame
As the hot red blood
Crawls up to your face?
Do you hear the echos
Of yourself as you recount
All the times that you
Were fucking wrong
And that your attitudes
And actions
Were completely uncalled for?
You don't?
Well, think about this.
Think about the pain
And the suffering
And hardship
You put others through.
Think about all the times
You made others leave
And stand against you
Because you made it
So uncomfortable
So horrible
That literally anyone stood
Against your words
Because it went too
God damn far.
Think about all of
The missed events
The unanswered questions
The restrictions
That were all because
Of solely
Undeniably
You.
The pain
Within me
Is loosening slightly.
I realize
Now
That it isn't me
I'm not the one to blame.
I was never the one.