I try to hate you, I do

But I can’t

In fact, I’m jealous of you

I find you amusing

I find you captivating

 

You have the ability to control

You have the capability to wrap your hands around the throat of your victims and slowly crush their windpipes while they smile

While they love you

And I’m jealous

 

You have the talent to blind an entire population to your potential

As you kill them one by one

And then by ten

And then by a hundred

And then a million

And then they’re gone

You’re invincible

And I am jealous

I want the power you possess

I want the control you have

 

I am jealous

You took what was mine and left me wondering why I wasn’t enough

What did you have that I didn’t?

Why didn’t my own father love me the way he loved you?

I wasn’t killing him

Or torturing him

Or wrapping my hands around his throat and suffocating every ounce of freedom he had left in his body

 

That was you

 

You did that

and now he’s gone

and you’ve already advanced to your next prisoner while I’m left to clean up the mess you made

I’m left behind in your path of destruction

I’m left behind in awe

 

I try to hate you for what you’ve done

But I can’t

I admire you

And I am jealous of you.