Seriously? Sit down,

I’ll take it from here.

It’s ridiculous how you sway there

and take the questions from that girl who can’t understand

the concepts we learned five years ago. Five years ago!

It’s a university, not a tutoring session;

assume your position and take a goddamn stand.

You’re the man. The man!

You can’t let them walk all over you, you. Kick them out,

threaten someone for once, slam a book while they sleep.

A hung over stupor doesn’t do the rest of us any good. No good!

They pay you for this? This smut?

You lecture from the book because you expect

no one to read it—well don’t assign it because you’d be surprised

 at who gave a shit. Some shit! It’s my education

I’m paying you to teach, so profess your lessons on the board legibly

and don’t ramble off topic and then throw out a quiz. A quiz!?

 Fuck you, “it’s in the book.” I READ the book

 and trust me it’s not. It’s not.

Why don’t we quiz you and see what you know?

Who’s sleeping in the first row? Who plays Bejeweled

on their laptop in class?

The tables have turned so just sit your ass down.

It’s my turn now.