I am scrambling to get the words out of my system,

Breaking down at the mere thought of your name.

I can’t stop remembering.

I need to forget.

It’s as if a wave of emotions are rushing towards my soul, enveloping all of the minutes that I ceased to think about you.

All of my past seemed to be so distant, a boat crashing against the waves of a never-ending journey.

But it has returned and I am stuck thinking of you as I know

You do not think of me.

It is useless; watching the rain drops fall down the window as I watch that road pass by.

I can hear everyone else existing and breathing; they are living but I am not.

Once the road is past the window, they carry on with their days as if that road has no sensual meaning.

Their muffled words are seeping far beyond my recognition.

I am stuck in what used to be, what was.

I cannot get you out of my head.

It seems that the more that I try, the harder it is to escape the feeling, deep in the pit of my stomach.

It is not sadness, it is not depression.

It is a naïve remembrance of all that we were, all that we could have been. 

But I must accept that it is not coming back, you have moved on and I am no longer in your arms, within your touch.

We were never anything, but those mere moments were everything to me.

You were drowning with your lungs wide open, your mouth filling with the taste of the sins in this world.

I mustn’t drudge on in the blackness of those demons.

I wish you wouldn’t either.

I will never know if I swayed you with my laughter, with the melodies that rocked my soul.

But, if today were my last day, I would want you to know that you carved a piece of me into a vibrant being that never wanted to let go. I will never let go.