it is I, the original Me

Wed, 05/27/2015 - 19:01 -- gvue97

Who was I before I was me?

Before I had to get up and continue a daily routine

Before the next word that came out of that stranger could strangle and choke me

Judge me and cut me down and then broke me

And I'd stand so tall with my size so small and wish with all my might 

That maybe one day I could fight

Back

Back to when there were no pain 

and I coulds smile in the sun and through the rain 

and the hail and the snow 

and everyone was grinnning in the photos

When you'd stick gum in my hair and I'd cut it all off

because length was not an issue

as long as you'd still play with me in ball toss

When my mother would say "forgive them for being human"

Because lord knows

where they crawled from and the struggles they did not chose

but were choosen for them

So Who chose

Society, their moms and dads and aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters

and friends and lovers and religion, and money, and pain ?

Who chose

To make me scorn at the very next new born 

for the suffering and hate that they could possibly bring to me one day

even before they have done so

I suppose

To make me see the world in all its rust 

and not appreciate the light but look in disgust

imagining that, yes

it too could leave tonight if it must

Must I view the world in this clouded lens

That's been tarnished over years of bad experience 

So bad as to where "I" became hard to find

And I keep searching for where I left me behind

Where is that beautiful child 

who could sing the lyrics of her soul at age four 

and she didn't hear what she was told 

because she knew she was worth more

Who had trust in every person that met her, 

and believed that one day their hearts too would grow tender 

Where is she

I was me before I was me

Somewhere inside 

still lingers hints of the child who was blind

to the pain and the hurt and the lies

and she's smiling through my eyes 

and it is I, the original Me. 

Who I always will be.

 

 

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