It Hurts Me, More Than You Know

I thought I knew how much love could hurt you. Oh boy was I wrong.
Sophomore year you became my best friend. The summer was long and we spent most of our free time together.
Junior year I fell in love with you as you fell in love with long before. We spent hours upon hours together, watching movies and eating Chinese food, growing closer by the moment. You told me I was something truly special and I was unsure if I could believe you. One winter day, as the snow fell around us, you blurted out the words "I love you" and I replied, "I love you too." About a week later I learned I would be moving.
We cried together.
Senior year was tough, a new school without my best friend. I was ecstatic when you can to see me for a week that winter. During that visit you said one day you would marry me, I was afraid when you said that, I thought you would change your mind.
We spent hours upon hours together, traveling miles upon miles just to be together.
Now it is Tuesday in the spring of our freshman year in collage. You call me in the morning and tell me that you hadn't slept all night because you were thinking of me. To my surprise you said that we should break up. You said you didn't want to hold me back. You said you couldn't give me what I needed, you said you could never marry me now.
I thought leaving you back home was the hardest thing that I had ever done, but even then you were still in my life. In reality, losing you now is the hardest thing. It's only been a few days since that Tuesday but every breath I take without you hurts, every memory that I have with you is tainted red, my body aches and all I can feel is pain and emptiness.
If I knew it would hurt this bad in the end, maybe I shouldn't have loved you so intensely at all..

This poem is about: 
Me

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