IT is a noun that society uses to describe its oppression

Many have fallen into the feelings of definition

IT is the hole of emotions that is escapable for some

But for others IT is pit that digs itself deeper and deeper

IT is the outcome of medication, genetics, death, illness, and abuse

IT in a matter of time will manifest its definition within the person you may be closest to

With my story, I want you to hear my voice that speaks for the silent

The ones waiting to be heard who scream out for help with their eyes, whose lips are sown shut

 

If only I had someone to talk to when I struggled

I would not be someone who continues to hide their emotions

But to this day I re-plaster my face with a smile

 

If only I had someone to confide in

I would not be someone who trusts no one

But to this day I built my wall impenetrable by none

 

If only I had someone to vent to about my thoughts

I would not be someone who thinks about suicide

But to this day thoughts have turned into attempts

 

If only I had seen society as accepting

I would not be someone who constantly seeks approval from others

But to this day I am justified by no one

 

Every day it felt like I had to choose a smile off a wall of masks

I wanted to hide everything that plagued me with “I’m Fine”

 

It felt like I was in the dark trying to find the light

It felt like I was in a tunnel getting closer to the end

It felt like I could not breathe with my throat becoming tight

I felt like I was already dead, 6 feet deep to be exact

I felt like I had to take the “easy way out”

 

IT sat on both shoulders, whispering bittersweet nothings into my ears

As I listened, I screamed out in the search for help

But in no surprise, nobody noticed how much I was hurting

 

IT made me despise opening up to others for them to be there for a minute

Because they ended up forgetting all about me a second later

 

“He’s only seeking attention”

I built a wall around myself and pushed away anyone who truly cared… ATTENTION

 

“You harm yourself because you overreact”

I lost the meaning of feelings and wanted to feel alive… OVERREACT

 

“People who kill themselves are quitters”

They are the ones who didn’t have a voice because they were told to QUIT

 

IT is time to sit down and listen before it’s too late

Open your eyes and look around

People may be here today, but they can disappear tomorrow, and you wouldn’t know it

 

For the ones who are lost and hurt

I’m telling you that you aren’t fine but that’s ok

I’m telling you that being strong doesn’t mean you shouldn’t cry

I’m telling you to just let IT go

I’m telling you that IT does not define you

 

IT is a noun, feelings of despondency and dejection