Invincible
It is easy to tell me
It is easy to yell
It is easy to shake me
But
I never understood
I lie awake at night
Tears streaming down my face
Wondering if perhaps someone was more in depth
Or louder
Or stronger
Maybe things would have been different
I know
I know
I know
That it was never anyone’s fault
But I wish it were
115 miles per hour
with my younger brother
a passenger
Fucking
With friends
With strangers
With anyone
I would never listen to anyone
Claiming it was wrong
Depressive
Dangerous
It all felt good
Happy
Safe
Rose-colored glasses pale in comparison
To new eyes
A new heart
A new sun
But that is how mania works
Right?
Bipolar is not a mood swing for a minute
It is four months of being
Invincible
The pills made me abandon that power
Freedom
Love
And though my life may feel worse with them
I could not live without them.