A few months ago

I had been contemplating the meaning of everything

that led me to the darkness and pain engulfing 

my soul and being. 

Why wouldn't it get better,

isn't that how it was supposed to work?

 

Instead of looking towards the future,

I dug deeper into the past.

I dug at my thoughts, my skin, my home, 

there was no end.

But at the same time,

everything felt like the end.

 

Sitting in the dark, 

stinging bullets running down my body.

No longer had I cared.

Will I ever care, 

where and what happened to the light, the promise? 

 

Change was far opposite from eminent. 

But opposite of eminent is what happened,

it got better, much better. 

Self-doubt, self-pity, all negative connations of self disappeared.

I dug for the past, but now I continue to plant

for the future.

 

How did I do this?

No, no longer are things mystery.

Self-confidence, self-assurance, self-reliance,

lists are starting to look less dreary.

Despair and misery gladly exchanged

for opportunity and hope.

 

Never will negativity be allowed back,

the abysmal entities defeated, annihilated. 

Rays of reverie

evident in the new success of everyday life.

I know now how that there is brimming truth

in it gets better.