I'm Sorry

I'm sorry no truly I am I'm sorry for so many things to so many people through so many times but most of all I'm sorry I believe these lies I guess it should come as no surprise that the right to my body's a social disguise based on the notion that people have the right to treat me the way that as long as I kept acting all nice all the time well I can't keep acting I can't keep this fake smile much longer they say fake it till you make it but I have faked it for so long only my close friends can tell my real smile from my fake smile I'm sorry I'm sorry I was never good enough for anyone I'm sorry I was never worthy to anyone I'm sorry for this disguise you see everyday but I'm glad that you don't see what's really going on because my disguises just said to hide all the pain I'm in the pain and fear of losing the one then closes to the one to see I am not happy the ones who come to talk to me when I'm not seeming Happy by fake smile is to Define how I wish I was but I see you're losing those to talk to me when I'm not happy forgive me forgive me please for not being better for not being worthy to not mattering to anyone because If I don't have this disguise on every day you will see just how much pain I really am in people say and do things to me and they Don't think I'm in enough pain already did they cause more just to make themselves feel better about themselves I don't want to be this way anymore we all have our demons but mine are constantly fighting and I can't fight them alone anymore I need help I called out for help before but no one seems to get the hint I don't know if I'm being clear enough so let me break it down for you number one remember someone who seems happy may be going through a rough time so don't piss them off number 2 depression is you if your family members or friends you don't believe that forget about them if you know depression is real the depression is real anyone can have it at any given time number 3 if you see someone crying don't ignore them or walks past them go and sit with them until they are ready to talk the number for if a person is depressed let them know you are there for them don't make them feel as though they don't matter tell them that they matter to you and you are there for them when and if they need someone to be I'm sorry I was never good enough I'm sorry I have depression and the fear of losing my friends and best friends I'm sorry I'm not perfect I'm sorry I'm not worthy I'm sorry for wasting your time I'm sorry for everything I'm sorry for not being straight I'm sorry for not being the way people wanted me to be I'm sorry for everything I am sorry

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