I'm Scared

Do you ever get scared of not knowing what you are capable of?

And this can be in every aspcect in your life; whether it be work, school, goals, or even love?

And that maybe they are right, when they tell you that this is the reason why people are scared of you,

And that it has nothing to do with you, but that they are scared of you discovering your true potential and what you can actually do.

For so long I doubted myself and wondered why I was the one who was never good enough,

But I am starting to realize that they just don't know how to handle someone that is so tough.

That whether they like it or not, I am someone who is going to push them to constantly try and do better,

And that you can't sit back and be mediocre when you are with someone who is such a goal getter.

It honestly broke my heart to see you walk away because I thought that I was losing something that I always wanted,

But I have learned that maybe there is so much more to it, and that those memories don't have to leave me feeling haunted.

I never had the courage to say to you what I truly wanted to say, and it does bother me,

Because it made me feel like I wasted the chance to tell you what we could actually be.

There is that part of me that will always be wondering what if I had actually said those things to you,

But part of me knows that whether I said it or not, things would be different it you really wanted them to.

Either way, I am going to take my time and just focusing on continuing to grow,

Because I really do think that it won't take you much longer to realize what I already know.

Maybe they were right, that when it came to you, there was intimidation there for reasons I don't want to say,

And maybe I need to look at differently, and it is just another part of our story, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

You walked into my life as a stranger, and I never knew that you would mean so much,

And I hate to admit it, but I knew it from the first moment I gave you that key and our hands touched.

I was always comfortable with you, in ways that suprise me and I can't even explain,

And I knew that long before I even knew your name.

As I have continued to talk to you, and I have gotten more comfortable with letting you see the real me,

And maybe this is opening your eyes to a part of me that you never thought you would be able to see.

Part of me thinks that as we continue to hang out as friends, you will fianlly start to see where I'm coming from,

And I am still praying that it turns out that way because I can't handle my heart continuing to feel numb.

This last time we hung out, it felt different in a way that I really like,

And as we sat there talking, my love for you continued to spike.

Maybe as I let you in more, you will start to see me in a different light,

And I knew all along that listening to my heart would always steer my right.

Even though it hurts a little now, I will continue to keep you in my life as just a friend,

Because at least I can keep you in some way, and that is still a win in the end.

I still do believe that I need to be patient with you, and let you start seeing things my way,

Because now the power is in your hands at the end of the day.

Honestly, I hope it does work out the way that I want it do because I have to find someone really great to make me forget about you,

Because I have never felt so okay with talking to someone about everything that I have been through.

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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