I'm Just Afraid of Heights


Warm salty yet smooth waves covered my feet like a blanket                                                                         Trying to look past the currents- the waves and the boats                                                                               I saw birds passing my veiw, flying across of light blue space and a fiery circle that caused my eyes to squeeze together.

That is when I thought to myself                                                                                                                           

What if I could fly past that light blue space and fiery circle                                                                            Past what any human being or object has ever been                                                                                Knowing in the back of my mind that could never be, not that I am not optomistic,                                     

I'm just afraid of heights

I turned on my gifted poetic powers and tried to see past what my own eyes could show me                 To see perhaps if this God given moment had meant anything at all.....

So I put it all into one equation: Going past the light blue space, the fiery circle and white spots that appear when the fiery circle goes down and the glowing rock rises up. Farther than what any machine, human, alien, comet, planet, galaxy, black hole, rocket, spaceship has ever reached or has ever even imagined added to me being afraid of heights

What did this all add up to? What could all of this paint? They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so what words could I find?

Fear, doubt, worriness, disbelief, impossible, fail, scared. Scared of how impossible this looked, scared of what it could be like to face the unknown. 

Because if i were to go any higher from where I was, I-would-be-freaking-out!

But once I passed the fear part of the equation I could say, "I will one day pass the sky and sun and moon and stars combined, traveling farther than what any kind has ever reached, seen, or imagined."

Although this is something i'll probably never do, I though to myself as I always do......                       What can I acheive? What can I reach? What can I pass? What can I touch? What can I make an imprint on? What can I uproot? What can I plant? What can I destroy? What can I build? What can I influence? What can I change?

Going into deeper thought, I caught myself praying. God, What can I do?

I beleive everyone born is given a purpose, just like how everyone born is given a heart.

Just like a bee is born to pollinate, or a bird is born to fly and spread seeds.                                        How a lion is born to be a dominant preditor, or a gabusia barbus fish is born to control diseases, or a spider is born to control the insect population, or how a horse is born to stand by a man's side one day and assist him with heavy labor. Or even how an insect as tiny as an ant is born to help decompose and clean the enviroment.

If an animal can have a God given purpose. It's unimaginable what a single human being with their own unique and uncomparable DNA can accomplish.

I beleive that everyone is born with a purpose, even before their life begins.                                          

I believe I was born with a purpose, just as I was born with a heart. Chosen, even before my life even had began, to fulfill it's purpose.

To fulfill my purpose would mean the world to me, more than flying passed the galaxies and skies towards what no person, thing or form has ever known to be.To reach my dream would be better than dreaming.

My only goal is to find my meaning. To not fear what's on the other side of the page, to not fear what is written for me in the next chapter. To not fear the unknown. Because I can sit here in my comfortable position where the warm and salty smooth waves cover my feet like a blanket. Or I can swim deeper into the waters and discover all the unknown things that this ocean has been longing to give me all along.


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