i bet you sit there and smile

knowing that the silence is killing me

and the distance has gone from inches to miles

till between us there is open sea

and you were my first ever drunk call

the first memory induced headache

and you were the first id ever loved

the first of many mistakes

and i hope it soothes the pain i caused 

the fact i lay here alone

the fact that its all fake and I’ve hit pause

and i decided to pick up the phone

and I’ve already wasted so much time

i couldve used to down another shot

and i hope it makes you feel better

because  you have to stay sober and I’m obviously not

and i never lied about drinking wine

and singing on tables with you by my side

a dirty apartment in some slum of a city

where you and i reside

and i hope we can still go to that tea place

up in the mountains id mentioned before

and i bet we could still write some god ass songs

eventually when we are less torn

and I’ve said sorry so much i think its made it worse

so I’m trying to find a new pill 

i can shove down your throat to turn off the pain

but maybe I’ve already exceeded your fill 

so i think ill go back to leaving you alone

and ill be proud of myself when I’m sober

that i knew when to stop myself to make it less bad

and when to decide

this 

was 

over