If You Were Still Here
Dear Mommy,
I wish that you hadn't left.
I know you had no choice.
But I wish you were still here.
Even though I wasn't old enough to remember you,
I still have as much hurt as anyone that was.
I doubt that I would have to deal with the remnants,
Of a brutal split if you were still here.
I doubt I'd be as mentally unhealthy,
As I am now if you were still here.
You'd encourage me to follow my ambitions,
Just as you followed yours if you were still here.
Would I still be called Dani,
Despite my real name being Danielle?
I'll never know.
But I would, if you were still here.
Would I still have such an interest in all things Broadway and theatre?
Would I still have the best friend that I do?
Would I still have the courage to come out as pansexual?
Or would I have even more?
Would I still have pets that I love and adore?
I just wish I knew.
I wish I could hold your hand,
Feel your warm embrace,
Hear that it will all be okay.
Just from you.
And I would,
If you were still here.
Love,
Your baby Dani