I made him promise.
He promised me cold,
Winter nights in New York,
Hot coffee and wool mittens.
He promised me Bohemian paradise.,
His guitar and his piano and his voice.
He promised me everything,
In that off-handed, joking manner
So he could take it back
If I were to turn him away.
He promised a life I want,
But cannot have.
He promised what he knew
He could not really give.
He promised our ultimate back-up plan
And I for the first time
In all my teenage years,
I knew what it felt like to love someone,
Innocently and purely and wholly,
And be loved in return.
So, I will promise, too.
I will promise long days
Of memorizing and auditions.
I will promise coffee when he gets home
And mittens when we are on the street together.
I will pretend it could happen on day
And I will pray that it does
Because that is what first love is:
Foolish and dim-witted.