I swear,I'm fine

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Are you ok? They ask and I reply really,
Why are you worried? I swear,I'm fine
But u know that I'm really not ok
That this is all a mask,a pretty face
When in reality, I am not all right.

In fact I'm actually quite messed up
Everything feels so weird all the time
Somehow, I always feel sad
Something is amiss, that much is clear
And If I had a choice, I'd rather not be here.

I wish I was a cloud so I could fly
So I could soar in the sky
I'm not a person,but a Something
Or maybe even sometimes nothing
It feels like I'm an alien.

Why else would I feel like such a failure?
The guilt eats me from the inside my chest
And in my shameful silence
I am a guest, we stand together
In my dreams, I'm so fierce and proud.

If I can stay for a moment, then never wake up
To this plane of existence, we're Everything is so different to stand up, arms bare
Maybe I can pretend to be okay
Everything will be just great
Sometimes I might cry
Then don't worry I swear, I'm fine.

This poem is about: 
Me
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