I should have known him
I should have known him better
Because he was my friend for a year
Our interests differed and we never saw each other in class
But I promise I knew him
Once
They said he became a pot head
He presured others into it
No one wanted him anymore
When he quit he joined Students for Christ
And I thought he'd be okay
Until the summer came
I cried because no, sir
Not him, sir
Not my middle school friend, sir
He can't be gone when his life only just began
He couldn't have left before I could tell him a story
But he was gone in a second
In a flash
In a whisper from my sister of
Yeah, some kid's dead
Please, God
I begged
He can't be gone
There's too much to be said
I walked into class and there the board said
Take responsibility for your failures
I supposed that was my answer
Because my middle school friend was dead
It's not what I wanted
But that's what I got
A person who didn't listen to a story
Because they couldn't listen to their dear, old friend
But some days I dream
That just a month before
I had skipped my drama meeting
And visited Students for Christ
When he wasn't there
I asked if they knew where
And when I knew where I checked
When I found him
I said Hey middle school friend
And he smiled politely when he couldn't remember my name
And I told him my story
I was in theatre when I saw you walk in
I thought you were a jerk
But in the end I had to give in
You were funny and silly and perfect in just the right way
And I couldn't wait to see you each and every day
You made me smile and laugh and grin
And I really, really liked you
I think you may have been my first real crush
Please don't think I'm weird
But I really did miss you
And I hope that someday soon
You'll come down the stairs and turn right
Because you'll always be a welcome sight
Please come home some day
And in my imagination, he thinks I'm a freak
He doesn't come to theatre that week
Not the last month or the last meeting
But the first day of school, he's back from the summer
He sits next to me and smiles
And I smile back because this is where he belongs
Alive in a warm seat next to me