I like sex. So what?
I like sex. So what?
Guys are allowed to go around and talk about girls' butts.
But people judge my butt when I say I like to do things with my butt. But why?
I say screw the double standard so I talk about what I want when I want.
But what do I want?
I sleep around and say I don't cuddle or like emotions.
People say that I shouldn't live with my legs open.
But I still do who I want when I want (although I'm always safe)
But that's just the mask that I wear as my face.
My first love cheated on me. I found out through a friend.
After two years of random anxiety attacks and trust issues I fell in love again.
We were going to get married after college, we were together almost two years.
But 2 weeks into college he called and said he couldn't do long distance, I was in tears.
I cried myself to sleep every night, and I cried throughout the day.
But I never cried in front of anyone, I pretended I was okay.
In these two months of being single in college I've had sex with 9 different guys.
I said I didn't want emotions and just wanted fun, I was telling myself lies.
I wear this mask that says I'm fine.
I just realized it was a mask today, for the first time.
I thought it was who I really was, and I couldn't figure out why I felt so empty.
It was because everyone I loved left me.
But I'm taking off this stupid mask.
I'm letting myself feel heartbreak.
It really sucks but I need to learn how to feel these aches.
I can't just shut down and ignore these hurts
Because in the end it only made things worse.
My mask is gone and I know who I really am.
I'm done with all of my one-night stands.
I respect myself. I love myself. I'm single.
I'm focusing on school and friends and I don't need to mingle.
I don't need anyone to fill a missing part of me, because there's nothing missing.