I received an A+ in Class, But I failed myself.
Location
It’s 1 am.
My mother walks up the stairs,
and asks me if I’m nearly there.
I say; “I finished my math,
but I still have so much to do”
She sighs.
So do I.
Times not on my side.
Two papers and one test.
I swear I wasn’t messing around,
I was just trying to do my best.
Fast forward 7 hours.
I’m sitting in a classroom with 20 other students
Listening to a lecture on the history of America,
Learning to find X,
Analyzing a classic poem,
and I am struggling to stay awake
‘cause the last thing I want is for my teacher to think
That I’m not trying very hard
I’ve never failed a test.
I’ve never received an F.
I’ve also never been challenged
but we’ve all heard the stories
and it doesn’t take a genius to tell something’s wrong.
The test scores come back
forming barriers so high
they stop students from their goals
and then the tears fall like rain.
We’re all left with nothing, but a transcript.
English, Math, Reading, Science.
The difference between acceptance and denial
Do you remember the test?
how about this one…
36.
Just one number
Representing years of study
Meaning the future of a child
Look at our students stressing out
because your score is your future
is acceptance
is scholarship money
and you test kids so many times
they lose their hope.
Do you know children in Finland never take standardized tests?
Can you imagine how learning must be
as they study what they please
I wonder what the Finnish would say about the taxes we pay
that do not cover our teacher’s costs
The system is breaking.
The scores are falling.
Every year a sixteen-year old girl bends over a prep book
wishing on test scores.
Every year our universities record the test scores of applicants
to see how many students get in for free.
Every year there’s a teacher telling students
grades are synonymous to intelligence.
He has power points from the internet,
Every test a regurgitation of names and dates
At his side there’s a grade sheet
That everyone lives for.
Teacher, our grades aren’t representations of our intelligence.
They are our ability to comply with school
Based on memorization and repetition
Staying up until 1 am
Attempting to cram for a test
because we are living for our test scores
GPA is not intelligence.
Students focused on tests and scores do not understand the real world.
We all need to learn.
Do we really believe our grades
Will prepare us for college,
For jobs, for research
for the thousands of opportunities
we missed
from sitting in a classroom for 12 years?
Look at the test scores.
Look at all the GPAs
and the people who won’t make it
through one semester of college
because not a single class prepared them
Listen to the voices of a thousand students saying
“I can't wait until my high school days are over”