I Have Not Lost
Location
I lost my poem the other day
But I didn't really lose my poem
I lost my hands
And together they folded in a sparrow position
Pushing
Trying to fly to my location
Wishing for me to understand
That losing isn't forgetting
I lost my poem the other day
But I didn't lose my poem
I lost my fingers
My fingers looped and tried to lock
But instead they spelled out
Find me
But my mind was already getting ready
To pull on new gloves
Feel the fake leather
Allow them to touch new things
Blue things
Yellow Things
Tasty Things
Someone else's things
I lost my poem
I lost my poem two days ago
With that I lost my finger tips
The height of my hunger
The hunger of my mental concentration
As they lay on top of a mismanaged surface
They stopped thinking
I tried to pick up
New pen
More pencils
Less erasers
Messy markers
Illegible crayons
Yet nothing semed to linger and prey to my grip
They only washed away with the current of my memory
Memories that seem to rush so quickly
And disappear as soon as they came
I lost my poem a week ago
But I didn't
I lost my fingernails
And with that my tumbling tops
Cried with eviction
On everything else I wrote
And it was illegible to me
Just me
Everyone else thought it was a start
To something new
But you don't see
That I can't start
Because a part of me
Is lost
So instead I forget
And when I forget
The things I forgot
Poison my brain and stain my blood
I can sense the blackened membrane of my veins
I can
For in these dark corners
These tools
With which I write
Become vulnerable
And wreckless
They become invisible
Until I let go
Until I find them
And set them
Free.