I have listened
I have listened to your song on repeat
Over and over again in the dark
Different styles and different artists
But still your song
I have listened to every note, every lyric
And I realize only now
that I have listened to you
Your soul, intermingled with the song
Touching mine in the process
Teach me this
The art of projecting your soul
Every poem I write is an extension of me
A branch from the trunk of my soul
Rooted in an existence I still can’t grasp
So Thank you
I know I have trouble saying it
It’s always so hard saying it
But I’m sorry
And I love you
And I forgive you
And I need you
And I miss you
And words are somehow easier
when I don’t have to speak them
When I can write them to the sea
Like a love letter that no one reads
But I have listened to your love letter
And I understand
I just understand
So at the end of the day
Even though I am scared
Even though I cannot speak to you
About the things that whisper in the dark
Or the knots around my heart
I still want you to find me someday
I want you to find the suicide notes that I burned
The ones that almost became obituaries
The ones that I had to hide
Read my heart, spread across the pages
Collect the tears that have become part of the paper
I am not ok
But every poem is another day closer
To learning to breathe
Another day closer to being ok
Dropping the weights off my shoulders
Shattering into words
Screaming to be heard
And I have listened.