I fucking hate that I don't fucking hate you
It's strange that I insisted that I wouldn't fall for you
but now when I remember the way you smiled
that morning when we smoked half your pack
i get this surge of
painful energy throughout my body
and I don't think you really broke my heart
but you broke
me
you caressed my scarred skin
and spouted sentence after sentence about how I
was perfect
and I was art
and I was smooth and sweet like cream but kept you from sleep like strong
espresso
and I can't help but ask that
while I was too busy falling for you instead of
letting you inside
letting you take my innocence
mead that all you wanted?
was I not enough for you?
the very next night you left the same marks on her neck
but the difference now was
you got what you wanted
someone who could actually fulfill your lustful needs
and
even though just moments before you told me
"I like her...but I love you"
you chose her
why?
because my body doesn't compare
my face doesn't compare
my inability to let you expose me for your pleasure
My skin
the bags under my eyes
my failure to cooporate
oh my god I just want to ask what I did wrong
that night
what happened that made you change your mind
what action lead to your choice of
her over me?
i mean I could see why anyone would
but I guess I'm just confused
because you made me trust you
even though I knew she trumped me in every way possible
i trusted you when you said
"but I love you."
now I just want to talk to you in person
i don't want you gone
I wish so much you'd come back
i wish so much I could laugh with you
destroy my lungs with you
Loose sleep with you
end my life with you
just once more
but you tried to use me to fill your needs
and when I didn't comply you threw me out like the trash
i
am
and now just like trash you want me gone
cant stand to have me in your sight
and while I sit rotting into the soil miles away from where you touched me the first and last time
youll forget
and you'll be fine