I don't love him, but he is here and you are not (Pt. 2)

some days
you are wrapped around
my fingers
as tight as a child
clutching their blanket,
and i feel the monarchs 
fly in my stomach
as i hear my name
fly out of your mouth
with such beauty,
i can feel
the blood in my heart 
stopping and turning into
the alcohol you drink
every week-
yet some days
you’re the air 
i inhale 
and the smoke
in my lungs
and if i close my eyes
for too long
you disappear,
and I have to find you
all over again.
and some days,
my love gets worried,
because it feels that one day
you will stray too far,
and i may never find you again

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