I can’t do this anymore I want to die but I want to live I want to go to sleep and never wake up but I want to wake up happy but I know it will never be the same as when I was a kid I want to be so much more then I am because to me I am nothing I don’t matter, why am I ashamed to look/act the way I do? all ‘cause an escape to me was just a sharpener to you I want to give up but I try all I can to go on why is that? I stay up all night crying and slicing my skin but then sleep all day It's funny how blood makes me nauseous when I  beg it to drip down my arms, beckoning it with razors and lighters like the red would scream enough  for me to be happy