i have seen small limbs
slide through the armholes of toddler sized shirts
and their knees bend into boxes without any work.
my eyes have watched them flow through a row
of school desks without feeling the push of cold
granite rest upon their flesh,

they have not felt the grip of jeans on a hanging belly
or the pinch of arms pressed into a shirt they had to have.

i have heard hushed tones
whisper about the visibility of my fleshy body
as their eyes move over my cropped t-shirt.
my skin has felt the sting of eyes that linger
over the parts of me that are already turned
raw from the self doubt grated against them.

they have no intentions to love my hanging belly
and a body that does not fit is not something they like to have.