i am becoming brave
i am becoming brave
by acknowledging my shortcomings;
the paths i was too scared to take.
i am becoming brave
by realizing the world is a big place
and knowing i will sometimes shake.
i am only as good as i am now
in the past i was weaker, i could barely take a blow.
but once you are touched by fire,
kissed by a desire to illuminate the world
and wave away the shadows and hordes of flies
you will find inside yourself a drive
that will make you flinch and pinch and grind your teeth
and bear your own world and all its grief.
to wake is to live, to die is to sleep-
let not the sheets hide your body underneath.
the world is more alive than any dream.
and when the violence touches you, all that lurks underneath
in alleys, around corners, in words unspoken and threats unseen
will make its debut on your own thinking screen
and drive you mad, and broken and bleeding in sync
with every victim of the same vicious machine.
but you must try to bring light to the deep
even if your own monsters tear at your seams
or the creatures in the dark have no eyes left to see.
it’s the trying that matters, even the fruitless attempt
to stop the freight train coming cold and dead in its tracks.
the sea of troubles is waiting to swallow us all in the end.
i am no longer able to close my eyes and pretend.
to throw myself at the sea, i must already be dead.
there is a certain honor before death,
but after life departs not a shred is left.
a corpse loses its cause with its last living breath.
i must fight while i am dying, and in death may i rest.