I Am
Dear Alexander,
I hope there is never a day you understand what I mean by my want to pick apart, destroy, and ruin just as I had felt you had done to me.
My frivolities, my speech; Have I always been considered a false prophet by you?
I know you won’t understand. I write to you to remind you of the following:
I am a paradox, an anachronism, a blip of time that has been formed from my experiences,
I’ll be a scrapbook, patchwork, quilted enigma comprised of all the times
I felt Life lent a hand to feed, my gnashing teeth, and Life’s missing hand
My favorite chew toy - that hand that fed me well.
You kept me at bay from biting back for some time now
I have burnt my muzzle long ago in sulfurous flames that my emotion continuously fueled
I have filed my fangs and my heart-hearth is ablaze
a Lioness am I.
These ancient fires are not those that have kept the unfortunate warm
No, these archaic pyres have burnt innocent souls at the stake
They were once kept alive in dishes of gold as a human heart was sacrificed to wrathful gods
These starved flames have ripped through forests, towns, and cities alike,
uncaring of which home it charred
The raw element has no regards for what is right and what is wrong,
the good and the bad
the feminine and the masculine
the young and the old
It does not discriminate.
I will allow my soul to combust
allow my flesh to char
my tongue to curl
shrivel
and become ash.
I will do this so that I may be reborn as a sacrilegious creature
blind to relative justice
wielding an unmitigated strength that will allow me to overcome human conundrums
My wings will carry me to the greatest heights
having no mortal Icarus complex
For I am the Sun.
As quickly as I will burn as the brightest
life-giving star
I will be snuffed.
My conflagration will be reduced to embers as the dying smoke
will exit my lungs and into the air
I will blot out the sky
and lay out my finest tapestry crafted of
diamond stars and gem-carved planets
My golden wings have donned a scorched brown
and I am now the Sage of the Night
For now I am the Moon.
My trickling luminosity will
guide strangers on their secretive travels
my cool illumination shall chill the spite my old self knew
I have completed the cycle of
Yin and Yang in their most crude forms.
I am the Balance lacking Lady Justice
for my Justice is sought through Earth and her Ethereal counterpart
I am infinite.
I am vast.
I am.