I’m Your #1 Fan

Today is awesome, so Hold Your Head Up.

 

No, higher. There you go.

 

No, don’t put it back down again, hold it up.

 

Why?

 

Why not? Are you frightened?

 

Did the look in your eyes change?

 

It did. Why’s that?

 

Yep, that’s right. Because you don’t usually stand like that, do you?

 

No need to answer, I already know.

 

I know all about how you walk around these days.

 

How you’ve walked around all your life really: head slightly down to show others that you weren’t there to dominate or control them, but there to be kind and compassionate, because that’s all you ever wanted to see in the world. That is still all you ever want to see.

 

Alas, I’ve seen it, time and time again. That quite spirit that is lively and active on the outside, but secluded and ever so lonely within; it’s a strangely beautiful thing, what you have, but I’ve also seen something else:

 

I’ve seen it be taken advantage of, like a sunset to a photographer or painter. Those who experience that can’t just let it be, they must find a way to enjoy it again and again; instead of embracing the moment, they try to contain it and control it…..

 

They’ve tried to contain you, and control you.

 

The sad part though, is, you’ve let them.

 

You gave them the wings of your heart and many came crashing in with so much potential you thought your time to change the world was at hand. And you were only eleven years old then.

 

Many have come and seen you, witnessed you at your peak and at your end, but none have seen you like this, none have seen you follow this trend.

 

With your head up.

 

But I have. I have seen the times where you have gone far out of your way to make the moment worth it for others. Where you completely gave up on me, but kept going solely for the sake of someone else’s benefit.

 

I have seen you fail and fail and succeed only to get cocky and arrogant and fail again, wondering when in the world you were going to get it right, and not just right, but perfect, every time. You idolize perfection, yet continuously deny any notions of its existence, continuously deny it’s persistence after you.

 

Because you know that you were already perfected in forever, and that eternity only cares about the moment you’re experiencing….

 

Right now.

 

Every time you believe in me, you choose to discover that there was no cure for eternity, but it was already saved…

 

for you.

 

And now I hear your thoughts, like this, so ambitious, passionate and wild, craving for the single most coveted thing on the face of creation’s child, craving for just one ounce, one moment for significant, noteworthy, hold-up-I-need-to-write-this-down,  change.

 

You want it more than anyone else, and will do just about anything to even witness it, but much more, spark it. It’s the itch that you really don’t want to touch, so you let it gnaw at you until your senses go numb….

 

And you stop. And you sleep. You do monotonous jobs that don’t require anything but a smile and a hand-

 

But that’s just it- your smile.

 

The one that you thought was no big deal, but seems to be all the rave to everyone else. The smile that you rarely get to see for yourself, except in pictures….

 

Hey, show me. Go on, show me the smile that small children are attracted to, that adults and older people feel the need to point out to you, go on, show it to me!

 

My gosh, your attention span is short.

 

Why is it so hard for you to show me, when everyone else gets to see it for free? 

 

Must I climb a mountain and let you look at the view, tell me what do I have to do for you to smile at me?

 

I understand.

 

 I totally see that it means nothing to you, so why should it mean anything to me, but I’ll tell you, even though you already know, it matters because of what it really shows. Who it really shows and lets the world see: that glowing, fanatic, sparkling firecracker you not-so-secretly adore, but are afraid to truly be.

 

And it’s me.

 

Hello there.

 

 I know you don’t want to say it out loud, but it’s really me that you search for but secretly hope is never found because if you find me, then the search is over, and what else could you possibly do? So it’s me you search for, I’m the one looking back at you.

 

I look at you and I have to tell you dear, I’m excited at what’s in view. I know you don’t care much for compliments, but I’m saying it because it’s true. Whether you believe me or not, I see you were made for something great. Something powerful, and worth remembering, and meant for more than a handsome mate.

 

You were meant for beauty and love, and to share it with the world. Oh you see it every day, from the veterans and senior citizens, to the precious little boys and girls.

 

Stop making excuses for why you can’t be seen like this, stop holding back from doing something just because you’re scared you might miss- I’m telling you that is indefinite! You will miss, and believe me it’s ok! You weren’t made to be perfect, but perfectly real, anyway.

 

So I’ll ask again, will you smile at me?

 

 Will you hold that head up because I know you can.

 

 Look in the mirror and stay humble, but confident;

 

Do it for your #1 Fan.

This poem is about: 
Me
Guide that inspired this poem: 

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