Hush, it’s okay

There’s no need to take a peek.

What are you doing, trying to look in so deep?

Do you wish to be clawed at, do you wish to be scorned?

Do you wish for me to scream in agony at you while I squirm?

I know you want me at your feet, for me to show you what I hide.

But I refuse, because it’s mine and all mine.

I know what you’ll do if it’s in your hands.

I refuse it! I refuse it! Because I fully understand.

 

I know your kind, your kind so well.

You want me to show you so you could use it against me.

You want to hurt me, you want to sink your fangs into my flesh.

You want me to hesitate with every step I take on this earth.

You want me to be afraid, to tremble in fear with every want I have.

You were supposed to guide me into life after I opened my eyes

Instead you’re trying to control me and you made me bleed

I bled so much, words and colors, paints and oils

And you used all of those against me the moment you were able.

 

I bled so much, all of my colors ran out

Yet you weren’t satisfied with the results at all and wanted more

My greens, my blues, my purples, my teals, my yellows

All of my colors, washing down the drain as you hollered

I don’t know what you want from me

Your expectations were too high

You claim I am a sullen child when you have neglected me too much.

I was opened at first, and allowed you and everyone to see

My colors that were very vibrant and ran deep underneath.

However, the years trickled on by, with one slash after another

You kept making marks on me until I lost all of my color.

 

All I have left to show you are my greys, my blacks, and my whites.

I show everyone those achromatic tones, yet they seem rather polite

Despite how dull I am now, in even in the harsh light

It burns when I am hiding in the shadows, trying to be quiet.

As the years trickled by- I can’t let you know, can’t let you or anyone else see

The tiny bit of green that is slowly gathering as I finally started to breathe.

I hide it now with my greys, my blacks, and my whites, hoping for it to not peek.

It’s my tiny secret, my own little thing.

 

If you were to see it, you would destroy it within a moment

There would be no hesitation in your violent angry movement.

I refuse to let you see it. I refuse it! I refuse it!

Because I fully understand.

I know what you’ll do if it’s in your hands.

But I refuse it, because it’s mine and all mine.

I know you want me at your feet, for me to show you what I hide.

I know you want me to scream at you while I squirm.

I know you want me to claw at you and you wish to be scorned.

I will react as such, as long as I can slyly hide my secret.

My vibrant colors starting to run again, faster and thicker.

 

It makes me tremble in excitement

A sudden streak of playfulness suddenly struck me.

I’ll play to your manipulative games, follow your hideous plan.

I’ll be gone soon and you’ll soon won’t have me in your hand.

But for now, I will shadow my colors, smother them with black.

What are you doing, trying to look in so deep?

There’s no need to take a peek

There’s nothing here at all!

I can hardly contain my giggles, my murmurs of glee

I have to silence the loud noises and whisper to myself

Hush, it’s okay.