The rules to passing as a man to the general public.

 

Step 1

Cut your hair.

Your long gorgeous thick hair. 

Yeah? You love it?

Chop it all off. 

Not just a trim, not right above your shoulders.

All of it.

No matter how you cut it, it'll never look right.

 

Step 2

Do NOT have a round face.

You may have liked your face before, but now you have no hair to frame it.

It's round, feminine.

Your short hair really brings out your feminine eyes.

And your baby face, round jawline, and full lips.

 

Step 3

NEVER.

EVER.

DRESS LIKE A GIRL.

Don’t even think about wearing a skirt.

You know what?

Don’t even wear pink.

Wear jeans and a plain t-shirt.

Wear knee length shorts and a camo sweater.

Wear a trump hat, wear crocs!

Or don’t.

It wouldn’t work anyway

We all see the way your shirt folds around your chest.

I can see the way it slightly hangs off of your stomach.

 

Step 4

Bind your chest.

Take a size xxs piece of fabric and sew it into your skin.

Staple it into your skin.

You won’t be able to breathe,

But that's okay because the lump on your chest is a lot smaller!

You still can’t wear fitted shirts though because your chest isn’t fully flat.

No one needs to see the dome of fat on your chest.

Also we can see the outline of your binder and that’s embarrassing.

 

Step 5

Don’t be friends with the gay kids!
The outcasts.

Clearly you're just being trans for a trend at that point.

But don’t be friends with the popular kids either.

They don’t want you!

They won’t accept you!

Your mental health will be destroyed.

You can’t have no friends though because that's just sad.

Maybe you don’t deserve friends?

 

Step 6

Never say a word.

If we hear you speak, we’ll hear that feminine voice.

It’s high, unlike the real men.

Their voice is raspy, deep,

It’s real.

You are not real.

Your whole identity is fake.

 

Step 7

Hold it all in.

Real boys don’t cry,

You sensitive little snowflake.

Your only emotion is mischief.

You know, since you're a boy.

Speaking of holding it in…

 

Step 8

Never use the bathroom in public,

Because it’ll never be right.

You’ll always be making someone else uncomfortable,

And your comfort doesn’t matter.

In the guys bathroom you’d be watching us.

In the girls, you’d be waiting to touch them.

Save the family bathroom for a family.

And don’t use the nurses bathroom at school, because that’s just embarrassing.

So hold it all in.

Don’t infiltrate our spaces.

 

Step 9

Take all the harassment.

When we put you down, fall.

Just let it happen.

But, once again, don’t cry about it!

It’s not even a big deal!

It’s not even bullying, it’s all jokes!

Can’t you take a joke?

 

Step 10

Ignore all the steps above because you will never be a real boy.

If you follow these steps you’re just a try hard.

Just a little, weak, girly try hard.

And we will never see you as a real man.