the house i grew up in?

wasn't really a lot of fun

cause my moms was never in agreeance

and my dad wanted a son

see, girls are kinda complicated

heat packs and tramp tatts

no call backs but money stacks

drawbacks? let's backtrack,

cause he was never there for any of that and

moms was never home, too caught up in status

she wanted a palace, wanted to be an actress.

never looked at us like we was anything more than fragments

but was put into an early casket, uh.

dad held resignation and she held condemnation

and i was just caught up in the rotation see

the house i grew up in?

full of silence

the only sound of a heart beating through violence

love is timeless?

only if you're monogamous

something my moms seemed to have a missed and

kissed a least half a wound

to exist.

emotions were nonexistent

i was pain resistant

cause i was a daughter

and while my dad wanted a son

my moms wanted none so

they fought harder and yelled louder and my dad

stayed no longer

slammed the door to being a father

and she cried.

we died.

our little family of three

no longer benign

now cancerous

wrecking all the things we wished

we could have kept.

inept at success

i digress

i guess

we were all just a little too young to have any sort of fun

sorry i'm not a son

but

the house i grew up in?

i don't like talkin’ about it.

cause the inside was never really very crowded

and while dad ran away and mom decided to quit

i never could take off our loosely knit

family.