By: Carmen Cooper

 

The window of my mind opens to a world of dreams

A doorway that I would know to keep shut but I keep opening it

As much as I want to understand the happening of now

The weight of me can’t be held

My unbalance with the outside is not equal

I am confused

 

The paths that are made out to be right go left

Everything is foreign

Nothing makes sense

In my mind the shadows don’t stand over me

I tower above the lands and present myself

 

The truth is pages don’t turn like that

The passage way leads else where

Reality bites back in lust

You only want your name to be on the entry list

The deep puzzles of the labyrinth twist the ending game

There are no instructions for how to be

The inner circle I force my way

Bleeding the lies and paying for them

 

Society strings me like a puppet

I follow quietly with one foot dragging

The invisible hand I have not yet slapped away

Holds me upright

The hollow of my heart is a crossword

The paths it wants to follow suffocates me

 

The long prospective of infinite possibilities

Keeps me guessing

Symbolic gestures that will eventually mean something

                                                                                          

What I see in the broken images of my once vivid memory

Pieces of faint illustrations competing for my interest

Black and white contrasts of fallen dreams

Darkness trying to befriend me

Reality no longer exist

Scientific reasoning has no relevance

The waiting and not saying

Anticipating and concentrating, for what?

What am I really trying to say?

 

These dead cells that are thriving to come back to life

Swimming around making hasty decisions

Are giving up because nothing makes sense

The life that I’m living

The false air I am breathing only makes matters worse

For that the being I am trying to be can no longer see what is in front of her

Reincarnation is only a dream

The biology of life it seems

The starting point of forgiveness and moving on

The warm embrace I hunger for

 

Inside my dark mind I lie asleep

Waiting for the next time I will see my eyes open

But all I can do is dream

My sweet escapes from realty

The agony and the pain that inspires me to be better but from this point I have yet to become

I do not understand world that my mind creates

I long for more answers