My mind wanders to the night that still seems blurry,

“No one has to know,” he whispered

“but I don’t want to,” I thought

the words failed to escape my mouth

I was trapped in my own thoughts.

but a month later, they are taking my blood,

asking me questions I don’t have the answer to,

“Have you been sexually active?”

again, words fail to leave my mouth,

this time though

it is because I am unsure.

“it’s okay,” he whispered

I laid in silence,

my body stiff

why is this happening to me?

“we have to test you for HIV”

but this time

I don’t need words to express my panic

my eyes fill with tears

forcing me to relive the night

the night that I thought I could forget

after all,

wasn’t it “our secret”?