I've met a lot of awesome people at college,

from fellow students to teachers, faculty, and staff,

but it's a shame that the higher ups have no class. 

My tuition bill is astronimical, and because of it, I'm broke.

I'd love to kick the Bursar's ass to show him this ain't a joke. 

My GPA in highschool was a 3.8, and my class rank was the top fifteen,

you denied me a four year scholarship,

because my SATs were below the mean.

Now I'm attending your institution and paying out my ass.

My GPA is a 4.0, and I'm applying to another scholarship at last.

Will you grant me this gift, the one I've worked so hard for?

Or will you let me drown in debt, become dirt poor,

or must I stoop so low to become a whore.