Here I Am Again
And here i am once again
Wondering if i'm even worth it
If this is a battle I can't win
Maybe i should just give up
I've been here before
Wrapping strings around my neck
Collecting pills and testing knifes
I didn't do it then
And i know i shouldn't now
It's just that i feel so hopeless
Like it wouldn't matter if i did leave
Because what's the point of me being here anyways?
I don't even know who I am anymore
A star that faded to a black hole
Just a shell of who I used to be
The medications don't make it better
The therapy doesn't take the pain away
I'm still imprisoned by my mind
Still trying to tear the flesh of my bones
I'm still carving words and patterns into my arm
The only difference is I no longer call it self-harm
It's just a way of expressing myself
A way of dulling the pain
A sort of escape
From the thoughts that torment me
Telling me nobody would care if I left today
So here i am again
Standing on a ladder with a rope in my hand
Wondering if anyone would notice
If i took my life away.