Hello Satan, Father of Lies
Father of mine
Guess I’ll adopt myself into your family
Since half of mine is Heaven
And I’m the heathen
And I’m up heating up my hands
From the cold shoulder from this “father of mine”
“Family of mine”
People I’ve never met
Hugging and I ain’t even say hi yet
But I’ll let them talk
‘Bout my childhood but I only remembering them
Walk-in out of my life
They were never present
And where was your name on my Christmas present?
I only got the gift of absence
But my memory’s hazy
Cause I’ve been too busy drowning it in absinthe
And smoke is filling up the cracks where it will fit
So Satan, would you mind taking me?
I’m broken so hold me under your broken wing
Give me a minute and I’ll show you how bad I can be
Give me minute and you’ll see
Everything you missed about me
Dad, hey this is your son
And this is what I’ve become
All because of what you’ve done
But hey like father like son… right?
At least that’s what keeps me up at night
I’ve got too many demons to fight
But you never taught me how to fight
So don’t be surprised when I succumb to this blight
You’ve been corroding my conscious constantly
But I keep calling you my Christ
My savior is sleeping on his duties
My savior is saying he’ll be here soon
But I’m staring at the sky until I’m seeing stars
Dawn delivers and Dusk departs
Been months waiting for your car
You say you’re a part of me, but do you even know my heart?
Or my soul?
Did you know it’s cold?
And this ice isn’t melting so don’t expect Flood
I burned your body and I’ve spilled all the blood
And if love is blind then I need some mud
Because I’m not seeing you around
Your perfect love is nowhere to be found
Maybe you just aren’t hearing my prayers
But I swear to God I’m screaming them loud.
Where are you Holy Father?
Oh great Father, are you in the kingdom of the divine?
You and that entire family of mine?
Took a trip up north and didn’t tell me
Did you think I just wouldn’t see?
Why am I missing your devotion?
Do I have to kill myself to get your attention?
How far do I have to lower my expectations?
Or should I abandon any hope of relation?
Are you in heaven or in hell, Father?
Will you let me know which is farther?
Now I’m lost in Limbo without a guide
Getting darker and there’s nowhere to hide
Looking in the mirror, I see you, Mr. Hyde
Or is it Boyd or Hawkins or is either fine?
Are either mine?
I don’t even know who I am anymore
But people telling me I’m you at the core
So now I’m wondering what it’s all for
If I’m just going to walk out my baby’s door
Just to be with a different whore
And my kid will write poems about me
How he hates me
Wants to kill me
Never wants to be me
If the future is bleak do I really wanna see what I’m going to be?
The present is killing me every day
And these broken hearts are filling up my doorway
So there’s no way out of this maze
Worried I’ve finally lost my way
I want my mom to be proud of me
I want my niece to smile when she hears stories about me
But I gotta figure out who I want to be
Bloody bastard, I’m breaking my ears waiting for you to call
Breaking my neck waiting for you to fall,
Christ, if I’m the son of God then this son is kinda odd
'Cause no one knows my name
And I’m starting to think I’m to blame
But is it my fault he don’t know how to aim?
I never asked to be player four of this game
Take me to church and free my sins, Father
Drown me in all the Holy Water
Before I fall for the Devil’s barter
Look in to Satan’s eyes and see my Father
Look around see the cult I’m in
Carving crosses into my crooked chest and sins
Superficial sacrificial sayings “saving my spirit and crooked grin
Fatherly talismans telling me where I’ve been
And where I’m gonna go
And who I gotta know
But they don’t know what I’ve been through or where I gotta go
What do they know this family of mine?
Absent this whole
Absent at the finish line
Any otherwise and they all lying
I miss you, Father
I miss all my brothers
But I must be a bother
Cause I’m feeling second place to all others
God forbid you try again
God forbid you try to get in
This door is locked and it has been, you has-been
All these lies you fed have come to fin.
Tell me something beautiful
Please tell me something hopeful
Cause all this beauty and hope is feeling sinful
and it’s all fuckin pitiful.
Guess you true to the fad
of black fathers leaving glad
but hey, I’m not even that mad.
So yeah, thanks, Dad.