happiness

one day she's 6 years old and she gets yelled at for stealing the other kids toys at kindergarten recess.

 

one day she's 11 and she gets teased at school for wearing sparkly gold shoes.

 

one day she's 13 and she gets laughed at because she was the first girl in the class to kiss a boy and everyone at school is calling her a slut. she loses her best friends because they don’t want to be associated with someone who was getting laughed at because god for fucking bid they become less popular. 

 

one day she's 14 and she is just about to graduate from the hell known as middle school and she gets voted “most likely to lose their virginity” in the school memory book. so she goes home. and her parents don't understand what is going on because she's too embarrassed to tell them her 8th grade superlative.  so she sneaks a knife from her kitchen and she cuts her wrists 7 times because thats how many people laughed at her at school that day

 

one day she's 15 and her parents laugh at her for cutting her wrists because they think she is just trying to get attention.  so she hides razor blades in her room because god forbid they think she is cutting just for attention.

 

one day she's 16 and falls in love.  and he means everything to her. and he saves her from the awful trap known as depression.

 

one day she's 17 and he cheats on her and she spirals right back into the depression that went away for a little while.

 

one day she's 18. and she is still depressed. maybe has been this whole time.  & she experiments and contemplates her sexuality and she starts drinking. and alcohol feels good and makes her forget everything for a little while.  and she starts doing drugs because those make her feel even better than the rum she just stole from her parents liquor cabinet.  and she tries dating again but no one ever seems right and she can’t find those feelings she had when she was 16. and everything feels so right and so wrong all at the same time.

 

so maybe she’s weird. maybe she’s crazy. maybe she’s a psycho bisexual. maybe she’s a pothead. maybe she’s an alcoholic. maybe she is a slut. 

 

or maybe the world decided she needed to fight harder for her happiness.

maybe she will appreciate the little things in life a little better.

and maybe she will be stronger than anyone else ever will be.

 

and one day you’ll be in your 40s

and she will be happy. and you’ll envy her beauty and success.

because she is 10 times stronger than you’ll ever be.

and she will fight 20 times harder for her happiness.

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