We walk though these halls filled with people

But never the ones who matter

We search each foreign face desperate to see something that says to us

You’re special

You’re lovable

And when we do see the ones we’re looking for a smile spreads

Mimicking the curve of my waist as you pull me close to you

I feel your love pressed tight against my soul

Desperately trying to seep in

Trying to discover the cracks and fill them up

To repair the defects caused by other hands

Other hands that have touched the same place

Caressed with the same tempo

But somehow they were wrong

And yours were right

Yours melt into my skin while

They gripped too tightly

Held too closely

Pushed too hard

And the marks of their white-knuckle grips

Still visible on my body expose themselves in

Scars on my arms, my legs...

Wherever they felt they could control me best

As if they could take my soul

Along with the troves of my body

But they failed

They failed where you succeeded so completely, so entirely

Almost like the sweetness of your actions and your ever-lasting compassion

Undid their selfish demands that beat me down

We meld together so seamlessly, so effortlessly

They wanted me so bad, but not the right way

They wanted to OWN me for their thoughtless urges

And because they just took without asking

They never really got what they wanted

They never gained what they needed to truly own me

But you,

You didn’t have to ask

You understood my pain

You understand why I was so scared to allow

One more sets of hands to find themselves on me
 

When I first told you I loved you,

I was shaking

I was so scared

You looked at me just as scared, but open

Your love flowed out from your eyes

Bathing my cracked and damaged soul in understanding

That whispered in my ear

“its ok, I understand, I’m scared too”

I was crying on the inside

Not because you had hurt me

But the pain of feeling someone I loved finally accept me like the sting of cold water against a fresh burn because you put your hand too close to the flame and now you’re crying out and regretting what you’ve done but the only way to get rid of that pain is to extinguish it and the only extinguisher around makes your mind squirm and scream out

“Why does it have to be this way?”

The pain only makes the afterwards better

How else would I feel the warmth of your hands

If I hadn’t already felt the cold?

I love you

Not because you didn’t hurt me

But because it was worth it.