Job 6:4 

4 For the arrows of the Almighty are within me;
My spirit drinks in their poison;
The terrors of God are arrayed against me.

Hebrews 2:10 

10 For it was fitting for Him, for Whom and through Whom all things exist,

in bringing many sons to glory, to make the pioneer of their salvation

perfect through sufferings.

Another “progressive” step in this state of grieving

is when the tears are gone and all seems to turn out bitter.

The worst condition when one can’t see any blessings

as the past turns towards emptiness ... worthless, dark and brittle.

“My spirit then drinks poison” ... handed to me by darkness.

I swallow up this bitterness ... in search for “well-known” answers.

I really don’t want to grasp ... the exposed reasons of my “suffer”

which “hide” behind an open door  ... “life” itself enhancing.

“Through suffering made perfect” ... always flutters in my mind.

Perfection cannot be seen through pain ... unless it is by others.

Strange that our flaws appear to self more oft than to neighbors

and lack of progression understood ... in the causeway of the loveless.

Jan Wienen