When he awoke, Avery Man spoke

"It's good to be alive in a town ranked five!"

out of five he meant, for he was born quite ignorant

not dumb or stupid or silly or simple

ignorant instead of a world full of things that were sad

He jumped out of his bed and smiled to his dimple

"Ho ho!" shouted he "I have many reasons to be glad!"

"Sure there is hunger and disease that make people dead,

"but every day there are new cures, and new ways to bake bread!"

"Between stone age and gold age we are the evolutionary gap,"

"which means that we know there's no question we can't answer."

"There's no more need of bad feelings like being in trap."

"Instead we can look forward to the great things in life"

"Like pretty much everything (except maybe cancer)"

As he brushed his teeth the only thing he could think:

"Even that is a shrinking issue, now spit in the sink"

At breakfast he sipped coffee and chewed on some toast

and pondered what a great life it is to boast

No mongol attacks in nearly five thousand years

Instead, nights filled with good friends, and too many beers.

And although he awoke that morning with quite the bad hangover

A hearty good breakfast and now it is over.

Before leaving the house in his gas-powered-car

A kiss to his wife, and a pat for his dog.

To work he would drive while whistling his favorite songs,

he watched manicured plants pass by in prongs.

Now working at work he's quite pleased with himself

"With all my work done, it can return to the shelf"

His boss is a jerk but his friends are quite friendly

and they all work with him at "Goodbie, Feinstein and Feinstein"

So with his back turned they can ridicule Mr. Goodbie

And wonder why someone would be such a miser and mean.

But nevermind that, it was all friendly banter,

more often than not, their jibes they'd recanter.

On his way home he'd stop by the store

for all his family needs, and then much more.

One stop shop for his every last desire

To add to his home, an up-and-coming empire.

Then off he would drive to his aforementioned home

with his perfectly kept lawn;  a fine eco-dome.

With his perfect wife and two children around,

Not one complaint he had, not even outside sound.

After a dinner delicious, and helping the kids homework

it's time for a shower, and a with-the-wife-twerk.

Happily he lay with his wife in his arms

and dosed off to sleep with dreams of retirement farms.

The moral of the story and the reason for all of my words:

Much like Voltaire's Candide, we live in the best of all possible worlds