I wanted to give in

My body screamed for mercy,

My sanity barely gripped in a fist clenched tight

I had to stay!

I had to fight!

I promised them I would try

They needed me to make this go away

They needed me to make this right...

 

My body was that of a contortionist

Something you’d see performed by Cirque Du Soleil

My cue was the pain that would light me on fire

It would dance endlessly along my nerve endings,

Making me a slave to its agonizing flames

 

A terrible war waged within my being

Many a time I’d find myself on the verge of defeat

I was tempted to wave the big white flag

I wanted to surrender myself, to shout ‘Truce!’

In exchange for eternal peace

 

But I fought on,

Propelled by memories of uncontrolled fits of laughter

And cheery (sometimes toothless) smiles

My heart could hardly contain the love I felt for

My seven rays of joy

I’d proudly show off each of them

And say “Yes, that’s my child.”

 

I gave it all I could

But I knew my end was near

Every single ounce of my will and strength

Waned and until it was all gone

And nothing else was there…

 

All I could do was admire them one last time

And unable to avoid the inevitable,

I slowly shut my eyes,

I pictured those seven smiling little faces and their bright eyes

In them, I found my peace

And as hard as it was…I let go…

But God knows I didn’t want to say goodbye…

 

In loving memory of my mother, T.D.G. ♥