A girl in the shadows

Location

There is monster trapped inside

Its clawing to find a way out

So deeply concealed in the depths of her heart

Thud-thud, thud-thud, thud-thud

faster and faster till she just can’t help but shout

So dormant this feeling had laid deep in the recesses of her mind

Till recent events unearthed the fears she’d worked so hard to hide

The unyielding pressure of words unspoken bubbling up from deep in side

The external façade is ever so quickly crumbling all around

The walls made up of shining grins and sterling masks of joy

Are falling, brick by shallow brick till they lay a mosaic on the ground

A raw soul underneath is revealed so sensitive and painfully hurt

Bruised by shifty eyes and dagger like words that once bounced off an external shield

Yet the more frequent and severe the acts of verbal abuse became,

the more she sat and took it with no clue how to fight back

The more her defenses started to crumble and her backbone started to crack

The assault halted, and she was expected to go about her merry way

 So go about her merry way she did, but something seemed amiss

As if each one of the hits, “you’re not that” “you’re not this” had worn away something essential

As if, the damage done to her heart, to her mind, to her soul was exponential

She realizes just in time she cannot let them win

By giving up and backing down, she had given them the reigns to her life

She had allowed her happiness to be dictated by the measure of their approval

Rather than taking control of her own joy and refusing to live in strife

Now this is the part of the story where things would usually turn around

An epiphany of sorts would manifest in a shining display of courage

She’d stand up tall say to hell with it all and love herself because rather than in spite of the little things

She’d live her life to the best, to the fullest, to the max discarding the opinions of the world

She be interesting and funny, outgoing and ambitious, inspiring and passionate too

The world as her oyster each day a blank canvas for her visions to artfully regenerate as reality

Pink for passion and green for growth a splatter of raucous, rebellious red rage, A vibrant violet for her internal royalty

She’d do all of this with a smile on her face and a God in her heart and wonderful sense of purpose

She would….she could….she should as the story goes

But The story and Her story are different things so as it is she now stuck in limbo

Living life at that point in time between realization and actualization waiting for the inspiration to pursue her destination

Alas this goal is a dream seemingly far out of reach

She is willing…she is ready….she is capable but the question that hangs in the air a weighty haze of anticipation  will she go for it?

 Only time will tell but for now she waits in her present state soon…very soon her time will come

She will strike out in fabulous fashion and prove them all wrong

But for now she is content to let happiness seep back in healing her wounded soul

Filling the depths of her heart once again with a caged bird’s song

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