i hold on to her word like it's a gospel. 

she's taught me religion, 

yet i feel like i forget my solid grasp on her teachings. 

i yearn for her approval, 

just as she had before me. 

i can't tell if you love me or hate me, 

i wish i could confess. 

her warmth seeps into my bones when she hugs me, 

her words chill my bones with a raw dread.

mama i love you, 

i love you.

i don't know if i want to know if you reciprocate this feeling. 

even if my yearning follows me into death, 

let me believe in the unconditional love a mother must feel.